Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Still not in the mood

I still feel down. Anastassia's results really hit me hard. You might think that I'm over reacting, well my friends think I'm going bonkers for nothing, but i just cant shake the feeling off.

Anastassia risks losing a lot of things at school with this bad result.

I feel bad for Puteri and Zaryff. With the results that they had, I should have jumped for joy, I would have straight away dragged them to the toy store. But I cant. I just couldnt. Semangat ni dah hilang betul. Helena cover line saying that I'll buy them presents this weekend, but dalam hati ni, memang rasa bersalah pada mereka.

Puteri dapat jadi best student. Yes she got no 1 in aliran. Zaryff pulak got no5 in class and suprisingly no8 in aliran. I can see the smile on his face when Mia puji dia "wow, my little brother is not bad. Masa kakak Mia std 1 pun, kakak Mia dapat no8 in aliran. Tapi kakak Mia dapat no1 dalam class..." Zaryff replied "Takpe, mama kata yang penting nombor dalam aliran" Zaryff was beaming ear to ear when his teacher suggested to me that he deserves a present for his good results. (Ai.... lebih-lebih pulak cikgu ni)

Mia pun dapat report card last week. I was not happy with it tapi kasi chan kali ni.

Puteri won her first colouring contest last Saturday. Although it was only a saguhati prize, tapi okla kan. Dapat hamper besar just for saguhati....... (still tak berbukak lagi hamper tu kat rumah.... zaryff dah sebut few times yg dia nak bukak kan)

Anastassia's choir team also won saguhati. OKla jugak sebab peringkat Negeri.


Zaryff finally pandai buat breast stroke. So now tengah belajar back stroke and butterfly. He is already a pro at free style.


Today is my maid punya last day. Biodata maid baru pulak tak sampai, it seems sekarang tak banyak biodata. Dah ada biodata pun take some time to process. Pengsan Helena, berapa lama takda maid ni!


Mmmm........ I need something to cheer me up!!!!!


IzzSofeAd said...

Sian kat Helena...don't take it too hard dear. Anyway congrats to Puteri & Zariff, and to Anas....hope this result be a wake up call for her...

Your maid left? takper...cari yang baru...hopefully u'll get one soon, better than before.

Meantime, u can hire the maid on daily basis like what I did everytime mine went for 1-2 months holiday back home. A bit expensive, but what choice do we have, right???

Mine has been with me for 5 yrs. She'll leave for good end of next yr. Soon, I'll be in your situation....Anyway, good luck in yr "maid hunting"..take care..

MAMAMIA said...

Have u done any heart to heart talk with her? Maybe she's rebelling with a cause. Lepas that bad performance, have u noticed any significant improvement in her. Or maybe u can try asking her close friends? For such a bright student, something is really disturbing her. Dig deep, tapi kena buat macam "menarik benang dalam tepung...". Tahniah to the other kids..

Would being tagged cheer u up? Maybe it would get your mind off this prob. for a while. Do visit my blog.

Kak Lady said...

Helena...rasanya tak semua ibu bapa yang bertuah seperti helena yang mempunyai anak2 yang pintar dan cerdik. Mungkin kali ini anastassia akan sedar dimana silapnya dia...cuba berbual dengan dia heart to heart...manalah tau ade sesuatu yg mengganggu dan disimpan dalam hatinya

Walau bagaimanapun...tahniah buat mia, puteri & zaryff...

Harap2 helena akan dapat maid secepat mungkin...

clairvoyant said...

i've been reading your blog for some time now. it's interesting. you are such a doting mother. i mean well but i wonder sometimes if your children feel a little 'suffocated' with that constant attention??

well, i suppose you are lucky to have all that time cmpared to those friends you cited as examples; friends who have to send their children back home for some reason of other.

it's ok not do so well in exams sometimes (with reference to anas)!! History has shown that many successful people do not necessarily have all A's in their exams. Perhaps what you need to do is to give her that understanding and space.

zino said...

teruk budak2 sekolah skrg ni.. harapan mak bapak terlalu tinggi..hehe

sherrina said...

hehe...yalah. Mak bapak mana yg nak tgk anak kecundang kan. Cuma kunci kejayaan tu di tangan anak2, mak bapak cuma tukang tunjuk jalan aje.

Take a break, relax your mind and take deep breath. Clear your mind. Cup of nice strawberry tea might help (it helps me after a long, hectic day teaching adults in any IT subject yg mana lagi headache dari ajar budak2 :p) and think about it from all angles :)

Helena said...

izzsofead,thx for the kinds words dear. I too hope that its a wake up call for Anastassia. I dont know. I dont see much change in her. But definitely this time round, I'm gonna sit next to her just like when she was in std 1. (and i can only do that successfully and constantly with a maid around)

I was thinking of a daily maid, but dont know where to get them. from the agent? Would they be Indonesians?

I think I can handle being maidless for a while. Tapi yg risau nya is biodata maid pun takde to choose from. It seems the maids are now shying away from Malaysia.

Helena said...

We did have a heart to heart talk. She said that there's just too much homework too handle. But I told her, sister Mia went trough the same schedule and even more, with Taekwondo and Smare Reader classes. She had no problems.

Her friend punya schedule lagi teruk. Kena swim 3 hours thrice a week on top of homework and tuition.

To tell you the truth, I let Anastassia ponteng a lot of tuition classes. Bila dia kata dia penat, i let her ponteng. Bila dia kata dia ada banyak school homework, i let her ponteng too. So its not that I ignore her complaints before. Mia NEVER ponteng dulu. Yes I know I shouldnt compare, thats why I'm giving more space to Anastassia compared to Mia, tapi .... entahla.

Anastassia is small size and thin. Maybe she needs more vitamins?

See you in yr blog dear.

Helena said...

kak lady, anak2 Helena biasa2 aje. Cuma Anastassia ni buat Helena pening because of her unique personality. Helena ni strict sikit bab belajar. Our daily life pun revolves around the kids punya tuition classes, etc aje.

Anastassia ni cepat penat and banyak tidur compared to Mia. I think I'll bring her to the doctor for advise on supplements.

Dah lama tak 100% buat kerja rumah. Semalam dah start... hehe

Helena said...

hi clairvoyant. thx for dropping dear.

My life revolves around my children. We are close and we do things together. Do they get suffocated by constant attention? Hmm... from what i know, Zaryff and Puteri need more attention and more TLC from me and not less. I kinda leave Anastassia alone until she finishes her homework.

Or maybe you mean all the activities that I do with them? Well, actually my hubby did voice out few years ago yg dia lemas dgn kids activities. So I told him, ok lets do it your way. And his idea is just for him and the kids melepak depan tv. Well I put a stop to that. Hubby is used to it now, in fact he's kind of happy that the kids ada additional skills, eg play piano, swim, do paintings.

Understanding and space. Yes u r right, with Anastassia I need to give a lot of that. She did drop early last yr though not as bad as this time round, but she bounced back to no5. I hope she can do it again this time round. Yes, u don’t need straight As in school to be successful later in life, but with the difficulty in getting to a good Uni with the speciality of your choice, maybe u do.

When Mia applied for KYS last year, they requested for a copy of her report card from as early as std2! So at times, it does matter how u did even when u were in std 1. But like u said, failing to go straight As does not make a person a failure. With that in mind, I would still prefer a smooth journey for my kids in their schooling life rather than a bumpy road.

Thx for the thoughts dear. Looking forward to hear from u again.

Helena said...

zino, Helena ni setakat show them the correct path je..... At least I am not like kawan Mia punya parents who would just smack their child in public bec of getting average results. Itu belum kena pukul dengan belt and kena further punishing at home lagi.

Akan tetapi, maybe Helena pinjam kata2 my parents (yang dulu2 Helena tak paham, tapi sekarang dah paham sangat2):

"We want you to excel for your own good. For you to have a great life later on. We are doing this not for us, But for you."

Helena said...

hi cikgu,

Ha... betul, tunjuk jalan. Tapi kadang2 bila jalan tu mereka still tak nampak, kita kena pimpin tangan mereka and walk with them down the path, betul tak?

I've started drinking coffee again... ahhh.... mmmm.... absolutely delicious..... Got a few thousand for my 10 yrs service with the company.... maybe I can start shopping.... mmm... maybe my kids would like new swimming suits.... opps... no must buy MY things not theirs.... mmm...mmm.... where should I buy the toys for Puteri and Zaryff..... STOP!..... I just cant stop thinking about the kids.... hehe

Pootz in Boots said...

Hello Helena,
I have been following your blog for a while now (I love peeking at other people's blog, linked through other blogs, just so that I can "connect" with people of similar stories, problems, backgrounds, interests...).
I am a mother of 2 myself and I count myself blessed with my bright son (my daughter is still only 9 months ++ but is showing greater intelligence compared to her brother while at the same age). I make sure I always give my son pep talks and at the same time breathers. I let him do what he choose, when he choose and for how long he wishes to. So far he's done quite well and when he doesn't, he'd put his own effort to buckle up.
Always stress on the spritual and the religious aspects, from there, they will have a better self realisation, even at very young age.
Wallahualam. I am no pious person myself, neither is my other half. We should just do everything in moderation.

helena said...

hi pootz, thx for the thoughts. Its great to get to know the silent readers out there.

Anastassia really stumped me. As i mentioned earlier, she does have a unique personality. It is really challenging dealing with her, unlike with Mia before. Infact Puteri and Zaryff are much easier to handle than Anastassia. Now baru I paham bila orang kata dalam family mesti ada yg ganjil. (Anastassia has shown that she also be positively ganjil)

I always stressed on spiritual and religious aspects, sama rata aje semua. But I do admit that I dont really do things moderately, especially when it come to my kids. Maybe I'm kiasu in a way....

Pootz in Boots said...

Hi Helena, Ana is the second in the family, no? Well, heard of second child syndrome (particularly if he/she is of the same sex as the first one)? They are a breed of their own and believe you me, they are always a challenge (be prepared for it, sister). I am sure their motto would be "Be the black sheep of the group. Don't become the regular conformist". They sure know how to live up to that!! Anyway, it is still early days yet. Good Luck!!
And as for the maid, you want to try the agency I am using (Chinese la tapi, but service is good, based in Malacca). They do have "pool" maid, to be hired almost immediately (depends on availability)and you can either choose to continue with the same maid or apply for a new one if you think she is not suitable. Agency Sri Ayu - 06 3351811, speak to Ms Ong OR call direct the owner, Ms Sri Yanti 0126120055.

Anonymous said...

sian nyer kena jadik anak u.

sherrina said...

ohhh...patutlah. Anak kedua. Kenapa yek dengan anak kedua? Mmg ada sindrom anak kedua ke? My bro pun mcm tu...unpredictable. Is it a pattern that God created for all anak kedua or just coincidence?

ween said...

Hi Helena, just blog hopped and landed here.. Well, I dont have much experiences yet as my two children are only 2++ and 1yo. But, I hope you do cheer up.. & What is success without some failures.

Helena said...

hi pootz,

yes, yes.... 2nd child.... hehe. i taknakla kaitkan dgn 2nd child syndrome but the indications are there la. Yes, i know that this is not a phase, so I need to be prepared to be further challenged by her in years to come.

She came back yesterday, told me that she was called by one of the senior teachers. The teacher told her that a group of teachers discussed about her results and said that she let them down. Another teacher called me up asking whether I mind if she was sent to the school counsellor for a heart to heart talk.

So i guess, I didnt go overboard risau pasal dia lebih2. Rupa2nya cikgu2 dia pun risau.

Hey thx for the info on the maid agency. Appreciate it. I may just ring them up when I start to drown in the never ending housework.... hehe.

Helena said...

anony.... kesian? mmm.... apa2 la....

Helena said...

sherrina, maybe. Most no2 in the family mesti ada issue kan? But not all la....

Helena said...

ween, hey thx for dropping by.

oh your children macam Mia and Anastassia aje jaraknya. 2 calender yrs difference kan. I can still remember when Mia was 2+, always demanding attention, and asyik sakit hati aje dgn Anastassia... hehe. Life was so relaxing those days, compared to now.

ween, What is success without some failures? Betul sangat2. Tapi kalau boleh failures tu jgnla banyak sangat kan....

NBK466 said...

Emmm..Halena dah bicara 'hati ke hati' dgn Anastassia? Maybe it will resulting to ketenteraman jiwa Halena...

mak andeh said...


As parents we want the best for our kids kan? We want the path to (their) life success be as trouble-free as possible. I can relate to that.

But having said that, do we really know what our kids want? How they really feel about our own expectations to them. Or are we living our own unfulfilled ambitions through our children?

I am concerned because I have a friend way back during primary school who was an all-rounder. She was very very smart, top of the class all the way from primary to secondary, excel in sports wakil sekolah and daerah, a headgirl, musically inclined played the piano and had the diploma at very young age, wakil sekolah for every debate, kuiz, persatuan - you name it - she was in it. Her parents were pushy, wanting her to consistently excel - but they dont actually need to as she was very gifted - both academically and socially.

She stayed that way all through SPM and managed with flying colours. The bombshell came when she REFUSED to go to university. Parents could afford to send her anywhere in the world for her studies - but she flatly refused.

All she wanted was to be a music teacher. The parents were horrified ! She had lived to all her parents expectations throughout her school life , and it's time she wanted to gain control of her life and do what she loved most.

And she didn't go to university, she became a music teacher and remain estranged to her parents for a very very long time.

I don't mean to scare you, Helena. But personally I feel your kids are too young to be pressured way beyond what they can do. Takut nanti stressed dan *memberontak* - besides, judging from what you have described their academic and social abilities - I don't think you have anything to worry.

Be thankful their are smart, intelligent and most of all, they are happy children.

I am sorry if my comments offended you - but I need to share my story here.

Take care.

helena said...

nbk.... sekarang ni Helena mmg selalu heart to heart talk with Anastassia. more often than before.

Helena said...

Hi MA,

Appreciate your honest thoughts. Let me answer it in 2 ways.

First, although I was not a great student macam your friend, but I can understand her. Because that was how I was raised too.

I lived that life. My parents expected a lot from me. My relatives and People around me expected the same. And all bec of what my dad had achieve in his line of work, academically and in the society. More so, I'm his only child. I felt pressured. Big time.

And stupid me,I memberontak. ALthough I furthered my studies, I did not become a professional. BElieve me, there's a BIG difference. And now I kesal sebab I memberontak, as I saw the huge difference between my world when I was with my parents and my world now as an individual with my own family.

Yes, I'm living my own unfulfilled ambitions through my children. But I dont feel guilty, bec if they succeed, they were the ones yang akan senang, not me. I'm doing this for them.

But then, I'm doing it slightly different from what my parents did. I become friends with them, I make sure I know them inside out. I would not force them to do what they do not want to do. I semai the interest in them dari kecil.

Secondly, At least yr friend ada offer yang dia boleh tolak. At least the option is there for her to decide. Whether she wants to proceed, its up to her, tapi sayangla kan tak proceed. Tapi at least her parents opened the door for her to be accepted in Uni. Itu yang penting.

Most of my friends have kids yg SPM leavers. Helena naik takut tengok kids now struggling to get the course that desire. Kesian. Zaman sekarang mmg susah. Zaman anak2 kita? I dare not think about it. A good science student got offered for cinematography. For what? And ini bukan kes terpencil.

I just want my kids to have as many choices possible for them to choose, be it a music teacher.

Again, thx for sharing. Believe me, I pun banyak kali remind myself, I have to make sure that I dont push them too much, that I dont force them to do what they want, as I know how it felt to be in that position.

Take care MA, have been admiring you, the way you interact with your kids, and family. Look forward to seeing you here again.

Kak Elle said...

Sori I am late again.....come lets paint the town red if that can cheer u up:)

Anastassia will pull her sock high next exam not too worry.

Congrats to the other children who did well.

NJ said...

Hi Helena,

Hang in there ya. Hopefully things are getting on well with you guys by now.

BTW, I have tagged you for some charity drive. By doing the meme tag we are contributing RM127, via blogger Bro Idham, to the Darul Izzah Orphanage.

Please visit my blog for the details. TQ in advance.

Helena said...

kak elle, how are you? How was yr holiday, lucky you!

Helena dah ok dah. Something made me look at the situation a bit differently.

Pokai melayan Puteri and Zaryff beli toys. hehe. (For once, Anastassia didnt get anything. I felt guilty and kesian la pulak as she followed us buying things for her adik2.)

Helena said...

hi nj, thx. It has been a while since i visit other blogs, but will do so once I'm a bit free.

charity drive? sounds fun! i guess its the same one as mamamia?