To Mommies out there ~ "Happy Mother's Day!"

Mother's Day this year is somewhat special to me.



I'm not really into celebrating it that much, because its always very near to exam week every single year. The same goes for this year. The kids would be sitting for their midterm exams today.



Since the kids were small, I would always encourage them to make their own cards, should they want to get one for someone. The last card we bought from Memory Lane was a million years ago. As they grow older, their cards became more creative and unbelievably beautiful. The personal touch was evident. Although once in a while they would make card using the computer, they would still prefer the tradiotional way of using plain fancy card and colour pens. (Even the envelopes are self made!)



So giving me a card for Mother's Day would be done discreetly. I would sort of discourage them to make me one because making one would take hours.... esp Anastassia who really does it in detail.... it could take her 4 whole hours! Obviously a no-no when exams are approaching.

Mia ada Outing Harian last Saturday. On the way back sending her back to college, she asked me whether I could come over again the next day (Sunday), teman dia do her studying (her exam started last Monday sampai this Friday). I said I want to but I cant as I have to monitor adik2 dia at home baca buku. She said OK, no problem.

But I was guilty as hell. Its bad enough that she's staying away from home, masa exam pun I tak boleh accompany her. I really feel bad sebab I admit, I try to accomodate my kids needs or requests if possible, walaupun kadang2 hubby kata i ni ikut sangat. To me, kalau the kids sebut ajer.... walaupun lepas tu dia kata tak kisah, i rasa obliged to do something...... sigh....

As I temankan dia to the staircase towards her dorm, Mia stressed that its okay, she understands that I have to be with Anastassia and Zaryff (and Pu3). I still feel bad though. She sent her things to her dorm, then came back to me for her munchies.... as I gave it to her, suddenly she held out to me a self made black Mother's Day Card. I didnt expect it sebab dalam kepala masih dok guilty pikir whether maybe I can try to come to college masa petang Ahad. Upon seeing the card and Mia saying "Happy Mother's Day, Mama" I can feel the tears starting nak bertakung kat mata ni.

As I dont want her to see me cry, I quickly peluk dia and said "Thank you Mia, I love you....." Mia hugged me back and said softly, "I love you too, Mama". I quickly left and the walk to the car was blurred by my tears. I dont know why I feel so sad. Maybe having Mia away at home has a deeper effect on me more than I want to admit. Or it it because I feel like I'm not doing enough for her during her exam kali ni.

I sat in the car and read the card's contents. Big mistake. Lagi mencurah-curah air mata keluar. I couldnt care less if the girls who were playing basketball kat tepi tu and the group of girls dok jogging kat padang saw me crying or not. Tengah merebeh gila Helena masa tu.....

Sigh.... I miss my first born dearly......


At home, Anastassia slid her card next to my pillow as I was about to sleep at night. I only saw it the next morning. I kissed her, had a mother-daughter talk and hugged her some more. I'm becoming to realize that I see a lot of me in her lately......

Pu3 gave her card to me on Sunday afternoon.

"Mama, Pu3 punya card tak cantik...... Hadiah mama pu3 letak dalam kotak, lepas tu pecah..." Pu3 said sadly.

"Takpa, its the thought that counts, okay." Helena pujuk dia.

"Membazir aje RM2 mama..." Pu3 said, macam nak menangis.

"It's okay Pu3, come sit on my lap" Helena dukung dia and I told her how much I love her.

We talked, I kissed her, played with her hair, kissed her again, when Zaryff came running by....

"Zaryff, kasi la mama card Zaryff" Pu3 called out.

Zaryff stopped and said "Mama, I love you.... tapi card Zaryff tak siap..." he kissed me, the way I like it...... and ran off again with his imaginary car......

I really love my kids so much, no word can discribe the feelings that I have for them.....


Note : Good Luck to all my children for the mid year exam..... Baca Doa, check 3 kali.... jangan careless....

Zaryff, please jangan tulis macam cacing kerawit!!!