Thursday, May 29, 2008

Al Fatihah to my dearest grandmother

My beloved Wan passed away last Friday morning, as I was about to submit my previous entry. I was typing away and was greeting a colleague when my hp rang. When I saw the word "Papa" on my hp screen, I knew. (My mom is like my dad's PA, bab calling-calling, my mom yang selalu buat)

"Lena, Wan just passed away" my dad said softly.

I grew up in this world 38 yrs ago, knowing only my maternal grandparents and my maternal great grandparents, from both sides. Both paternal grandparents passed away much earlier.

As my mom was the eldest, I was their first grandchild. And I was their only grandchild for 10 years. I was very close to both Arwah Atok and Arwah Wan, because mom was very close to them, and since dad had to travel frequently, we always stayed at their house. Infact, they were the one who accompanied my mom to the hospital when I decided to come out a week early. My dad was in Perak for a meeting at that time.

Arwah atok left us when I was 11. And Wan regularly came to stay with us. She would not leave her house for good, but loves to jalan2 and stay with us for several weeks. Our last jalan2 was to The Regency PD when Mia was several months old. Wan was beautiful with her favourite batik baju kurung when we took pictures.

I stayed with Wan for 3 years, that was before I got married. Just the 2 of us. We were a twosome, pergi mana-mana together. I would bring her to see her old friends. This was when I became really close to Wan. We would talk for hours... mmm.... we also had our one and only fight there..... sigh.....

After I got wedding, I became closer to her. The close relationship remains although at this time I was staying in Ampang. She was excited waiting for the birth of her first cicit. She immediately packed her bags to stay at Mama's after hearing news that I've delivered.

Arwah Wan started to get joint pains a year later. Its arthritis. It was just a nuisance for a few years. Sakit2 kat jari aje. Then sakit kaki. However after 5 years, she started to use the tongkat. She cant hold her cup properly now, as her fingers dah membengkok. I can still hear her saying that she doesnt want to use a wheelchair, asking Mama to just keep it away in the storage room. But i guess a year later, she just cant say no anymore.

Wan became bedridden 2 years ago. I made sure that I came to visit as often as possible. Although she was bedridden, she was very alert and sihat. Its just her sendi-sendi and tulang yang sakit.

She started to get weak last year. Dah mula lupa-lupa.

Wan passed away with most of her children next to her bedside. Papa was the one who confirmed her death. No pulse. No reading masa check high blood.

Wan has left us for good. Al Fatihah.

What would always linger in my mind :

1) My intentions to visit her this school holidays..... rupa2nya dah terlambat.

2) How she would look forward for my chocolate chip cookies.

Al Fatihah. To my Wan who is very dear to my heart. Who will always be a dear nenek to my children.

Semoga Allah mencucuri rahmat ke atasnya. Amin.


Madam Tai Tai said...

Helena, my deepest condolence to you, your mum and the rest of your family. It is never easy to see someone you love passed on..but itu la hakikatnya kehidupan ini.

Al Fatihah for your Wan. Stay strong, ok.

MrsNordin said...

Sorry to hear about your Wan's passing. I'm sure you miss her terribly. Al-fatihah, and may her soul rest in peace. Amin.

rose said...

Al-Fatihah untuk Arwah..
Semoga Rohnya dicucuri Rahmat dan ditempatkan di tempat org2 beriman...Amin...

Kak Helena..Banyak2 bersabar ye..

Udinb said...

Takziah, Semoga rohnya dicucuri rahmat. Al Fatihah. Amin

wanshana said...

I'm so sorry to hear this very sad news...

Semoga roh your Wan dicucuri rahmat dan ditempatkan di kalangan golongan yang beriman. Amin.

And my do'a also goes to you and your family semoga dikurniakan kekuatan to go through this very difficult and sad time.

Semoga bersabar, dan redha.

Take care.

wanshana said...

Al Fatihah.

jimi said...

Takziah daripada saya ya. Moga rohnya dicucuri rahmat.

ms hart said... deepest condolence to you, to your mom, to your family...I feel you, Helena, because I was a cucu nenek. Just like you - first cucu, and remained the only cucu for many many years!! Al-Fatihah for your arwah Wan. Semoga roh arwah Wan di rahmati Allah dan ditempatkan di bersama ahlil-Jannah. Amin. You stay calm and strong, ok? Take care!

Neeza Shahril said...

Alfatihah to dearest Wan. semoga rohnya dicucuri rahmat dan ditempatkan bersama orang orang yang disayangiNya.. Amiinn....

I could sense the feeling of losing someone who was dear in our heart. I did feel the same about 22 years ago... losing my beloved Mok (nenek sebelah ayah) who took care of me since I was a day old...

U.Lee said...

Hi Helena, regret to read of your 'Wan'.
What though the radiance,
which was once so bright,
Be forever taken from my sight.
Though nothing can bring back the hour,
Of splendour in the grass,
of glory in the flowers,
We will grieve not,
Rather find strength in what remains behind.

My deepest sympathies, Helena. You keep well, Lee.

Zawi said...

AlFatehah for your wan and my deepest condolence to you. Please stay strong. Allah will take care of her.

zino said...

al-fatihah... amin..

Helena said...

Thx all for the kinds words.....

Appreciate it....

Minahsongeh said...


AlFatihah.Semoga dia ditempatkanbersama orang2 yang beriman.

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