Friday, July 20, 2007

Big House vs Small House

My mom's house, which has gone through several renovation, can be considered big. The kids have been staying there all their life. I moved in when Mia was about 1 year old. The reason, my mom wanted to take care of the kids and she was very against me leaving the baby (Mia) with the maid alone in our house in KL.

I have a condo that I bought, just for the sake of buying. Dont plan to stay there, dont plan to rent it out. Its just that since I was young, It was my dream to have a condo or apartment which has a pool and secluded, especially no garden to maintain. And it has to be cute and small. And when I saw a newly built Villa, perched on top of a hill with European designs from the entrance to the condo itself, I knew I just had to own a unit. And syukur, the unit that I chose is located in the most beautiful block, best location with easy access to the pool, although not so near, hence giving us a bit of privacy. The clubhouse is also another plus.

Few months ago, me and hubby decided to decorate it, for us to spend time there during weekends. My parents merajuk, (their house sunyi without the kids) whereas i am starting to fall in love with the place, even rushing back to the condo during lunch time.

Spending the time in the condo made me realize the huge difference in staying in a big house and a small house. The environment is different, and there's an impact in family interaction. What made me write this entry is because of a question by Mia, when she called yesterday. She asked "Mama, I'm coming back home on Friday. Nanti kita balik rumah Wan ke, balik kat Villa?"

"Tak sure lagi. Why?"

"Mia nak balik rumah Wan...."

"Kenapa pulak? Mana2 pun tak kisah, kan?"

"Mmmm..." giving the tone that it does matter to her.


All the other kids LOVE staying at the condo. They can't wait for Friday to come and pop up the question. "Mama, are we going back to the villa? Please mama.... say yes...."

Mia in the other hand, prefers my mom's house.


Things that I noticed :

1. In my mom's house, you can get a lot of privacy. Macam when I was sick dulu, I stayed in my room. Selagi I tak keluar and turun bawah, memang tak berdecit dengar suara my kids. Its as if I'm alone in the house.

2. If hubby were to watch tv in the living room, dia tak akan "ter"serempak with the kids, unless he goes to the study room tengok mereka buat homework.

3. The family will only gather as a one big family during lunch and dinner.

4. At the condo, we will able to see each other all the time, unless one of us masuk bedroom or pergi toilet. From the kitchen, I can see the kids doing homework and also see hubby watching tv. Tak dapat nak hide. Well Anastassia selalu lock herself in her room, but still, we can see pintu bilik dia and tau her whereabouts.

5. Family interaction at the condo is more.

6. Its hard to get the kids to concertrate baca buku at the condo. It makes me appreciate having the quietness at the study room in my mom's house. And the small library, which we made last year to separate the elder kids with the smaller kids masa buat homework. (Puteri and esp Zaryff bising masa buat homework, kacau concrntration their sisters)


I guess, Mia at her age, wants more privacy and quiet, and she would get this more at her Wan's place. I guess dia rimas at the condo. Come to think of it, the entire condo is almost as big as my mom's kitchen.....

15 comments:

NBK466 said...

Helena...den raso itu lah yg omputih cakap beza antara HOUSE dgn HOME... Even keaddan fizialnya hampir sama tapi suasananya mungkin jauh berbeda..

MAMAMIA said...

I prefer a small house. Senang nak kemas. Kalau ada maids, mansion pun tak apa....

IzzSofeAd said...

Its good to have a weekend hideaway ...just u and yr family...its different feeling. Ofcourse we always treasure our stay with parents, but still diff when comes to our own family. Its d place U call "home"

I don't really know exactly how it feels staying with own's parents after married since I moved out a day after the wedding day.. ..But my parents' hse is just 20 mins away, selalu visit tho...

MINAH CELOTEH said...

One thing yang bagusnya having 2 places is that there's another hideway kalo dah 'bored' sleeping at one place.

sya said...

Helena.. I understand Mia, rasanya dia nak privacy and rasa condo tu kecik, even I tak duduk kat double story house, hanya single storey with 4 rooms pun susah nak tenguk my 2 anak daras sbb masing2 suka memerap dlm bilik except Arif yg penakut dok sorang2.. i think its their age kot.

helena said...

nbk, yela, mana nak sama dgn the house that they grow up in kan. But then the other kids love the condo, kalau boleh nak duduk situ terus. But of course the answer is no. Helena pun very attached to my mom's house.

mamamia, one of the reasons why we need a maid for the house. Bila balik condo, sekejap aja kemas rumah, hehe..... so tak perlu maid, and bilik and privacy pun tak ada for a maid.

izz, pernah discuss nak move out, esp with the condo dah ready, tapi my parents merajuk la bila bukak that topic. But then, although there is a lot of privacy for us at my mom's house, tapi its really a headache and heartache to have 2 captains manning the ship.

But i owe a lot to my parents. They really jaga my kids. If I were to call home at 3pm, I would here her monitoring the kids buat homework or ajar budak mengaji or help the kids with their school work. Infact, a huge percentage of my kids good results pun sebab dia sebenarnya.

helena said...

minah celoteh, yup u r right. Actually one of these days I plan to just take leave and lepak at the condo. Penat sangat la rasanya. Kaki ni berdenyut2 pulak, jatuh in the cinema masa hantar kids tengok HArry Potter. That stupid TGV dah off the lights walaupun nothing on the screen.

sya, yes. Mia nak privacy sebenarnya. Rasa macam tak puas aje dia balik tis weekend. Its bec of the rain yg nonstop SAturday and Sunday, rasa macam takda mood aje.... eh ada kena mengena ke? hehe

OndeOnde said...

I just read this entry, tak tahu nak komen apa...hehehe i just knoew that i spent most of my weekend idling..heheheh

D said...

hmm.. interesting topic. you're right about 2 captains manning a ship - it's tough. It's perhaps not too bad if it's your own mom. My situation was tough because I had a step-mom yang berkira. You are lucky!!

helena said...

onde-onde..... bestnya..... hehe....

d, well i know i am very2 lucky tapi its still not a bed of roses jugak la kan. Althou i terhutang budi sangat2 kat both of them, I wouldnt want to be in the same house with my children bila mereka kawin nanti. Maybe duduk somewhere near but still different houses.

Kak Elle said...

I pun tak tau apa nak cakap but if given the choice I nak duduk dgn wan kesian dia kesunyian.Ni lah masa nya kita habiskan masa dgn nya.Condo buat weekend retreat for time being.

rose said...

Org duk umah kecik berangan nak duduk umah besar..org yg duduk umah besar lak..teringin nak duduk umah kecik..eehhehe..mcm2 kan manusia ni..:-)

Darling said...

kekdg tu yg buat serba salah kan? mcm i dah terbiasa duduk sendiri so kalau kawin pun maknanya tak duduk gak le dengan my parent.

i prefer my own house compare my mum's house. tak tahu why. tapi rasa lebih 'selesa'.

atleast u r lucky sbb ur parent ada tolong tgkkan ur kids. skrg kan banyak kes maid buat macam2..

eeeiii.. geez..

Helena said...

kak elle, itu lakan. Tapi serba salah jugak dibuatnya.....

rose, hehe. Helena mmg dari kecik nak rumah cute2.... comel2......

darling, yela u dah biasa duduk sendiri. Helena dulu masa single pun duduk dgn my grandmother. Duduk bachelor masa time belajar aje dulu....

WANSHANA said...

We have something in common here.

Our family pun stay with my MIL in PJ, in fact the kids practically grew up there! Alhamdulillah, I get along very well with my MIL, and she has helped A LOT in taking care of the kids.

We only go back to our place in SD during weekends. It's a nice arrangement, I think. Like a win-win situation for all parties. The kids always look forward to going back to SD, where they have access to most of their toys, gadgets, 2 Astros, PCs. But, at the same time they love the idea of being pampered by their Wan when they're in PJ.

As for me, the weekend is where I get my own space and be the captain of my own ship. Nice. But, I don't see any reason to abandon my MIL's ship, when things are working well for all :D

But, we've bought a new place and my hubby said, when we move there, it's time to cut off the umbilical cord...Hehehe...

Take care.