You're grounded, girl!
Thats exactly what I'm going to tell Anastassia when I pick her up at school at 5pm afterwards. Today is the last day of exam, therefore I'm going to tell all, my frustration, my anger, everything to her. (smalam tak boleh marah sangat, takut kacau concerntration for today's exam)
I came back home yesterday, found Anastassia waiting for me in the study room. As usual, my first question will be :
"Anastassia, how was your exam?"
Ok, mama..... tapikan..... Maths kan......" her voiced trailing off....
"Kenapa dengan Maths?" My voice dah tukar tune dah.
"Kita tak sempat habiskan......" she said softly.
"Ha? kenapa? Berapa soalan tak habis?" I started to raise my voice.
"9....." Anastassia squeaked.
"WHAT??????????????" I menjerit.
Anastassia kata masa tak cukup. She even had the cheek to tell me that there's another top 10 girl yang tak habis 10 questions.... infact another 5 of her friends pun tak habis buat.... ( What about the rest of your classmates? I asked. Tahu pulak dia diam)
I was so so so angry....... then the anger turned into frustration..... and then into sadness.
I tak marah if dia did badly in her exams.... cuma even during these last few weeks pun, Helena tak nampak dia NAK belajar, buat revision pun for show aja..... Infact masa Mia dulu pun, bila results not good, Helena tak marah. Because I can SEE her studying. Tapi Anastassia ni, tak nampak effort pun....
Last year, Anastassia's performance dropped. I told her to buck up. Tapi masa December holidays, dia yang beriya2 sakan dengan kawan2 dia. In fact last month pun, dia mintak nak spend time dengan her best friend (who just moved to KL). Helena layan lagi, tapi dengan syarat la. Mama kasi awak happy, awak pun mestila buat mama happy. "Kita janji, mama." she said. "Dulu pun awak janji, tapi in the end masih main2. Awak tipu mama sebenarnya." I said. "Kali ni kita janji betul2 mama" She pleaded.
Tapi..... janji tinggal janji..... Late February, Puteri dah start ulangkaji sendiri. Last week, I helped Zaryff. Tapi Anastassia...... masih dgn angan2.... masih dengan story books.... masih dengan main semut dia tu.......
Helena tak mintak apa2 sangat..... I just want to see her effort in studying..... itu aje.... HER EFFORT!...... results, lain cerita.....
As I told her once, "Anastassia, you are the one yang pernah buat mama menangis kegembiraan yang teramat sangat, and you are also the one yang buat mama sedih because of your attitude"
Sigh...............
Note : Rupa2nya susah nak handle orang yang IQ tinggi ni....... Just because all this while, she achieved this and that without so much of an effort, dia tak tahu the importance of hard work.
10 comments:
Take it easy on her .... maybe she'll realise her mistake for not studying when she sees the ones who studied real hard get much better results.
Hi QOTH, thx for dropping by. I hope so la.... in fact after writing in this blog, adalah sejuk sikit rasanya. Lepas tu tengok2 out of the blue, hubby came to the office (from airport) and gave me a bottle of perfume .... so obviously I'm in a better mood now, eh? hehehe....
zino ada 5 anak setiap satu mempunyai pendekatan sendiri bila belajar tak ada yg sama..
yg pertama slow starter masa sekolah rendah but doing excellent masa sekolah mengengah dan seterusnya..
no 2 very good masa sekolah rendah tapi merosot teruk masa sekolah menengah.. tapi akhirnya mengukir kejayaan juga..
no 3 masa sekolah rendah dulu macam yoyo.. kalau dia nak dia boleh excellent kalau tak drop to the last no.. tapi sekarang doing fine..
no 4 no problem at all dari sekolah rendah lagi dah tak ada masaalah langsung..
no 5 tengah tunjuk belang..hehe..
kita perlu peka dengan perbezaan ini..
Helena - You know how our education system does not support brilliant or gifted kids. Perhaps it is a signal from her that she is bored with the current level being taught in school which is not very challenging to her considering that she has done wonders before. May be you'd want to investigate further as to the root of the matter before reprimanding. I did the same mistake before only to find out much later that there were other matters which needed to be addressed. That's my two cents' worth. May b you disagree......
zino : wow your children dah besar2..... tak sangka la...
Yes, you are right. Tats why I'm aware that I have to treat Alyssa differently.. but just dont know how anymore...
Mia is a good student who is very hardworking. Anastassia loves to play with ants, make experiments with ants, undeniably very inquisitive and has a photographic memory. Puteri is very inquisitive and hardworking too. Zaryff is clever but can only pay attention for a limited time only.
Dad of 4 : I may say that she was bored the first 3 years of primary school. However, with the expanded syllabus in std 4 and 5, she does not seem to be able to grasp the subjects as good as during the earlier years.
Although some would say that Anastassia is still doing good in class, but to me she was heading the entire aliran before, so why cant she do the same now. Kalau jatuh pun, jatuh sikit2 I can accept la... but 10 positions below? This new situation is starting to worry me.
I know I have to pay extra attention to HOW Anastassia feels. She feels insecure at times, and always put herself down. Memang Helena selalu kena upkan her spirits. I seldom nag her the way I did the rest, I seldom scold her. Sampaikan Mia said to me last month "Mama, why are you so linient with Anastassia? You were always strict with me before...."
I try to mold my children to be an all-rounder, so I dont only stress on academic, but also on EQ as well. Maybe I need to re-evaluate my approach.
Thx for sharing.
Ya....it's the case here too....Each one of mine is treated differently; one needs pushing another one needs the space and patience. Welcome to the real world of parenting! YOur Anastassia is the creative one, huh?
Helena...samalah dengan kak lady...kak lady tak ngamuk kalau kak lady nampak mereka belajar but result still tak baik...tapi kalau memang tak nampak belajarnya...keputusan tak berapa elok...memang nak kenelah tu...
Dan jawapan Anastassia...sama dengan jawapan anak kak lady...selalunya dia akan kata...kat dalam kelas tu pun ada banyak yang tak abis jawap...budak ketua darjah pun tak abis...budak yang pandai tu pun tak...eiiii...mau tak geram dibuatnya
Dad of 4 : Right-on! Actually all my girls are creative. (i expose the kids to arts and crafts as early as 4 yrs, the 3 girls are hooked but Zaryff couldnt care less) But Anastassia is the one with the most passion (with Puteri closely behind), and she adds that passion with science.... haha... go figure....
kak lady : Pantang Helena kalau kids tak belajar and then bila results tak elok, banyak alasan diberi without even pointing the finger at themselves.
YEla kid are kids la jugak kan. HElena dulu pun bukannya pandai sangat.... nak masuk A class pun asyik kat borderline aje. Tapi zaman kita lain, zaman sekarang lain. Zaman sekarang 9A1 SPM pun tak tentu dapat the line yang you want.
helena..
bila kita faham dengan perbezaan antara mereka.. maka pendekatan kita juga perlu berbeza.. ada yg boleh terima kalau di marah secara direct.. tapi ada yg tak boleh terima.. perlu dengan approach yg berbeza..
yg penting mereka paham dengan apa yg kita mahukan.. semuga berjaya dalam perjuangan mendidik anak anak..
susah nak besarkan anak2 ni kan...
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